Sixteen

Recently, a song called “Despactio” was released (featuring none other than Biebs himself) and, let me tell you, I’m obsessed. Only maybe a quarter of it is in English, while the rest is Spanish which, may I remind you, I speak none of. (I can say “Hola”, “Si”, and I can count to ten. That’s it.)

Because I don’t speak Spanish, I was curious to see what the song meant. “Despacito” means slowly. And this reminded me of something:

Take life slowly.

There’s this guy I’ve been completely enfatuated with (and I’m not gonna lie, he’s charming). He’s a really cool guy! BUT, he just isn’t the one. I can feel it.

Sounds weird. Ikr?

But it’s all true.

Right from the moment I met him, we just rushed into this relationship type thing if you will. According to my mom, we’re dating, and I’m pretty sure she’s one thousand percent correct. We’ve hugged, we’ve held hands and, although we’ve never kissed, it feels like we have. He is thoughtful, he’s kind, he’s awesome with kids, he’s handsome (in my opinion he looks like he could be present-day Justin Bieber’s identical twin).

You’re probably thinking, “I don’t see the problem. What is this chick talking about?”

When I first felt like it wasn’t right, I thought the exact same thing. I thought I was going nuts.

But, as time went on, I realized some characteristics about him I didn’t exactly appreciate. A lot of these things he didn’t mean to do, but I plain didn’t like them. Nor did my parents.

(Don’t get me wrong, I love him. My parents do too. We both agree we just don’t like some things he does.)

My parents love me, my parents love him- they just don’t like us together.

And, being one thousand percent honest, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone my parents didn’t approve of. And they don’t approve.

Everyone has their quirks, nobody is perfect, but some things are core issues that can’t be changed so easily unless there’s divine intervention (I’m sorry, forgive me if you’re reading this).

By no means am I perfect, but there’s certain things I just don’t like about him, and I can see them carrying over into our future (if we had one).

That’s why I guess you can say I’m “breaking up with him”.*

**Okay, disclaimer, I’ve got no idea if we actually are dating. It’s like we are, yet we aren’t. So, for the sake of my sanity, let’s say we are. Continue.**

Take life slowly, don’t rush into anything. Life will fall into place when it should.

My pastor, Levi Lusko (Fresh Life Church), recently wrote a book called Swipe Right, which isn’t your everyday awkward sex-talk chasity-belt let-me-drag-you-along purity conference book. This stuff is real, living, breathing truth, and it practically jumps off the page.

In a chapter, he mentions this incredible experience where he is waiting for his wife, Jennie, to get to church. She had just flown in from another state and he wanted her to be at church before he began preaching more than anything.

Worship started without Jennie, as it was nearing time for Levi’s message. And, as time went on, Jennie still wasn’t there.

Levi lost himself in worship and forgot all about Jennie being gone. He was completely focused on worship at that moment. Suddenly, he felt someone brush up against him and he instinctively opened his eyes to see who it was. Jennie had accidentally brushed him when she slipped into service, making it just in time to join him in worship. She was equally as lost in worship as he had been.

“And there was my beautiful wife, worshipping beside me.” Levi taught me that, when we get lost in worshipping God, we are inclined to having life fall into place.

Bad day? Worship.

Lonely? Worship.

Good day? Worship.

I’ve heard it said that, if you dance with God, He will let the perfect man cut in.

In addition to “Despacito“, I’ve had Taylor Swift’s “Fifteen” stuck in my head because, just yesterday, I turned sixteen! (They’re pretty close, okay? I’m only one year late.)

In the song, Taylor says a few lines that stick out like sore thumbs:

“And then you’re on your very first date
And he’s got a car
And you’re feeling like flying
And you’re mama’s waiting up
And you’re thinking he’s the one
And you’re dancing around the room when the night ends
When the night ends
‘Cause when you’re fifteen,
Somebody tells you they love you
You’re gonna believe them
And when you’re fifteen
And your first kiss makes your head spin around
But in your life you’ll do things
Greater than dating the boy on the football team
But I didn’t know it at fifteen

When all you wanted
Was to be wanted
Wish you could go back
And tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine

And Abigail gave everything she had
To a boy who changed his mind
And we both cried
‘Cause when you’re fifteen,
Somebody tells you they love you
You’re gonna believe them
And when you’re fifteen
Don’t forget to look before you fall
I’ve found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you’re supposed to be
I didn’t know who I was supposed to be
At fifteen
.”

I texted my mom these lyrics and, attached to them, I sent my thoughts:

“This song really made me realize I can do so much better. And I don’t have to compromise any of my standards or settle for anything (or anyone) my dad wouldn’t approve of.

I didn’t really realize this until now.”

And, in response, she said: “So true.”

Now that I realize it, I can say that I still don’t know who I am, but I know who I’m supposed to be. I don’t have to date the guy on the football team.

I know I’m a daughter, chosen and called, and loved more than anything. I know my dad would kill anyone who broke my heart, and my friend Brandon (whom I call my big brother) would throw a ninja star at anyone who even thought of it.

I know my God’s love is more than the net weight of the earth. He is my Father.

And I know my worth has more value than I can even begin to describe.

For all of those younger girls out there, my peers, and those who’ve already made mistakes:

You’re worth so much.

You’re worth Jesus

I’ve found time can heal most anything and you just might find who you’re supposed to be.

I didn’t know who I was supposed to be,

but I know know who I’m supposed to be

at sixteen.

Make wise decisions, take life slowly. It’ll be hard, but I’ve heard it’s worth it. Dance with God and He will let the perfect man cut in. You just have to trust Him.

xoxo,

Kayley H. W.

*


Go check out Pastor Levi Lusko’s “Swipe Right“, now available in any book store near you! Or, you can purchase it online here!

I highly recommend it!

Let God Drive

Honestly, I feel like I’ve been missing God for the past few months.

One day we could be “on top of the world”, and the next day we’re underground.

We could be a wreck. No matter what you do, you seem to only find unrest.

~

The good news is that we don’t have to come to God completely collected and wonderful.

God never said, “Go and pull yourself together. When you think your perfect, then you can come to me. Okay, kid?”

God has always said, “Come. I’ve loved you at your darkest.” (Romans 5:8)

No, this is NOT your approval to intentionally sin and say, “Well, God loves me at my darkest.”

That’s called manipulation.

I’m talking about how much God loves you and when he loves you.

When we feel lost, He loves us.

When we are free, He loves us.

When we are in doubt, He loves us.

When we are afraid, He loves us.

He can make us new.

“Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them white as snow.” (Isaiah 1:18)

~

You might be feeling like I have for Lord knows how long.

But, you can be found. And you will be found.

Let go of control. It might hurt, but you need to let go.

“If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it.” (Luke 17:33)

Let go of the steering wheel and take your foot off of the gas pedal.

Get into the back seat.

Let God drive.

And no, don’t be a backseat driver either! (Nobody likes those)

Let God drive your life, and you will never regret that decision.

~

“Love the Lord your God with all heart, soul, strength, mind.” (Luke 10:27)

God bless you, always!

Sincerely, Faithfully, Truthfully,

❤ Hope ❤